The Doodle Box

I am procrastinating on something that I really need to go through–a box of papers that I have collected since middle school that is filled with various doodles done by myself and my friends. I know I can at least consolidate it and put it into a binder, but I am afraid to go through those papers. I know that I should get rid of the papers that are worn, loose scraps, or no longer have memories attached to them.

I have no intention of scanning anything, because it makes it look different, and I don’t want that. But I am still putting off taking the box out of my closet… I’ve gotten as far as touching the box a few times, but then I freak out because I am not ready.

I am wondering, if I found myself a nice binder to store them, so that they could be secure and protected, that might help? Then I could get rid of the box; that might make me feel better about going through it, because I would be putting the artwork into something that will be easier to look at, and better preserve the memories.

I don’t know what all is in that box, but I have a terrible memory, which is actually why I have it in the first place, because when I look through those papers, I can remember what was happening when it was created, hence why I am unwilling to just get rid of it. I don’t have those memories, but I want them, and this is the only way I can access them.

I know not everything in there is worth keeping, because I put anything that has some sort of artwork in the box as soon as I can, and I have no way of knowing what will matter to me in the future. The last time I went through it was when I started college, so it is about time to go through it again. The difference is this time, I’m going to be a lot harsher than I was the last few times I went through the box. This is going to be the hardest thing for me to declutter.

I’m scared.

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